Heaven Sent

Wordless Saturday

2011-07-16T09:21:00.000-06:00

Nairobi bound!

2011-06-14T15:33:00.000-06:00

Just got official confirmation from our caseworker that Sophie's immigration documents are on their way to Nairobi. One more phone call. One more plane ride. And she'll be in our arms forever.

Pictures!

2011-05-26T09:11:00.002-06:00

After not being in touch with Sid for more than 24 hours (I was going absolutely crazy and on the verge of a meltdown) he phoned this morning. He had been unable to get an internet connection but finally was able to send me some photos. I've emailed, posted on facebook, posted on Sid's blog, posted on both yahoo groups and now here, ha ha. I love her! These photos melt my heart. I can't wait to hold her! Hopefully the visa trend stays and we can travel this summer.

Sophia (Sophie) Selam Dianne Vlieg

2011-05-25T03:05:00.000-06:00

She's ours! Introducing our daughter Sophie! It is the middle of the night and I just heard from Sid that court was successful. Just wanted to post our news and some photos. Thank you for your support, positive thoughts and prayers! We're just thrilled!

Hubby's Blog

2011-05-21T10:02:00.000-06:00

If you haven't been there yet, Sid has started a blog for his journey to meet baby sister and our court date (in 3 days!). The link is at the top of the page on the right hand side. He is going to meet our daughter TOMORROW!

Canvas Heart Giveaway

2011-05-17T15:11:00.000-06:00

This is a website that I've just recently learned of and I absolutely LOVE this artwork! After we pass court (hopefully next week - ack!) I would LOVE to order something! Can't wait! She is having a giveaway. Check it out!
http://www.thecanvasheart.com/

I wouldn't change a thing.

2011-05-16T18:55:00.001-06:00

I love this experience. There are so many emotions that go with this step of our journey. I am excited, exhausted and anxious, just to name a few. Sid and I are seperately working on checking things off his travel list. For example, get U.S. money, buy cell phone to use in Africa, make sure we have our notarized document for court, the paperwork and money order for baby's sister's visa, phone number for our agency's driver in Addis, etc., etc. Our list is 2 pages long. I am taking it all in. Preparing for his trip, collecting donations and the like all the while trying to live life and keep up on the daily tasks, including laundry (could do without that!), being a mom to a 2 year-old and gardening. Periodically I calculate what Sid will be doing a week from now (for example in one week he have already held our daughter in his arms!) and I smile. At the same time I get nauseous with anxiety about court. But I wouldn't change a thing. This is all about becoming a family. Our daughter will soon join our family and I wouldn't change a thing. The nerves, exhaustion and anxiety are all a part of it and I'm taking it all in.

To the core.

2011-05-15T20:52:00.001-06:00

When my daughter was born just over 2 years ago and it was almost time to bring her home from the hospital we had an entrustment ceremony with her birth family and our social worker, Alison. Before entering the hospital room where her birth family, hospital nurse, social worker and Josina were waiting for us I prayed that I was able to feel everything - to the core of my soul. I didn't want to hold any emotions back in order to survive this experience. I was being given the greatest gift, the gift of my daughter and it was important to me that I felt not just the joy of becoming a parent but the pain, the deep, paralyzing pain of watching a loving, wonderful family say 'goodbye' to their beautiful daughter, granddaughter and niece. I felt it was my responsibility to do so. And boy, did I feel it!

As we prepare for Sid's trip to Ethiopia for our court date I have been finding myself praying for God to help me experience all the emotions that go with this part of our journey, to not hold anything back. The excitement, the anxiety, the nervousness, the debilitating sense of utter sadness knowing a family has again said goodbye to their daughter, granddaughter, niece. Again, I feel it is my responsibility to feel all of it. I am being given another beautiful gift, the gift of another daughter and I am not holding anything back.

Baby Stella!

2011-05-05T17:08:00.004-06:00

No that's not what baby sister's name will be, lol. But it is the first present I've purchased for her! Can you believe I've held off on buying anything for her (except bedroom furniture, that doesn't count, ha ha). Court is less than 3 weeks away and I am a nervous and excited wreck. I don't think I will send baby Stella with my husband for the court trip in case we do not get it back. But baby Stella will be waiting for baby sister's arrival to Canada.

By the way, we will share photos and baby sister's name when court passes successfully. The day we received our referral my husband and I drove home separately from the agency and when we got home he asked me if I had thought of a name. Now remember we always thought it would be a boy so we NEVER considered or discussed ANY girl names. I asked him what he had thought of and he told me. Amazingly the name I thought of on the way home was the shortened/nickname version of the name he had thought of on his drive home. Hmmm...meant to be? At the time we thought it was a very original name but we've come to learn it is one of the most popular names right now. Hint, hint.

Confession Friday

2011-03-11T07:35:00.010-07:00

I confess:

*that lately I'm becoming an overly emotional eater, eating terrible, terrible food. Cookies, Timbits, burgers, the list goes on. This week I polished off an entire bag of Chips Ahoy cookies and I bought a new bag of Oreos yesterday. The waistline is expanding and the double chins are forming. Ugh. Although it doesn't feel like it right now but spring/summer are on the way which means wearing lighter and form fitting clothes and showing more skin. Nobody wants to see my bulge. I need to do something about this.

*I say "I need to do something about this" in reference to my unhealthy eating habits and growing waistline every single day and yet never actually do anything about it.

*I love the stage my daughter is at right now. Don't get me wrong, I love every stage. But the fact that she is talking and can communicate her needs is such a relief. I really hated hearing her cry, scream or grunt in frustration. It felt like she was crying ALL. THE. TIME. But now she has words and she uses them.

*I am on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring. I need to know when our court date is.

*I feel guilty that I have my referral and others close to me on 'the list' do not have theirs yet.

*I just confessed some feelings that I have about a couple of things that are bothering me and then erased them because I do not want to upset my adoption friends.

*I am scared. I am terrified. I have fallen in love with a beautiful baby girl in a photo and I have no control over when I will hold her in my arms. What if things fall through? What if the program closes? I am terrified. I am scared of what this will do to me.

*I am scared for Selam. Will she ever be with her forever family? When? What effects will being in institutionalized have on her?

*I am hopeful I will hold my daughter in my arms.

*I am blessed to have a group of adoption friends who received referrals around the same time as we did and their children are in the same room at the same orphanage. It is nice to have that support and strong connection.

*When we received our referral I was scared for our daughter in Africa. Was she being fed? Loved? Cuddled? Comforted? I was driving to a women's retreat to meet up with the girls from church and decided to give it all to God. I let him have it all. All my worries. I knew he would take care of her and it really made a difference in my attitude and emotional health. I slept every night without worry. But this week with the new developments in Ethiopia I have reverted back to my old ways of worrying and not sleeping.

*I bought an ikea dresser on kijiji last summer and repainted it and put new crystal/glass style knobs on it to dress it up. Because I painted it brown/espresso I realized recently that Josina's white crib was just so not going to match. I didn't think this was going to be a big deal when I painted the dresser last summer but when I moved the crib into baby sister's room a few weeks ago it actually bugged me so I bought a new espresso crib to match. It is a 4 in 1, sleigh style crib and it. is. beautiful! I'm much happier now.

*While eating our breakfast this morning Josina spilled her water all over the table and floor. I said 'oh shoot!' out loud and she copied me. Thankfully it wasn't 'oh sh*t'. I REALLY need to be careful with my words.

*In order to feel right I need things to be in their place. The labelmaker gets a workout in this household. This is the project I've been working on this week. Ikea trofast storage & bins to organize Josina's playroom. Each bin is organized, labeled and has a picture attached of the items that belong in the bin. This makes me happy.

*After posting this I went upstairs to have a shower. I got my towel & housecoat ready and started the shower then realized I didn't have the phone with me and ran downstairs to get it. I need a court date. My nerves are fried. (I have actually been shaking this week)
*After my shower I came downstairs to check email/boards for the millionth time this morning and my daughter brougt an empty box of kleenex to me saying 'aw done'. I walked over to the couch to see the entire box of tissues emptied onto the couch and as I said nothing while stuffing them back into the box she said 'da' as in 'ta da'...look at my masterpiece mom.

Survey Says...

2011-02-04T10:42:00.002-07:00

it was going to be a boy. BUT it's a girl! Hee hee. Selam was born on September 24, 2010 in Ethiopia. We're just thrilled and can't wait to post pics after we pass court. She's so tiny but just beautiful.

I will post more next week. I have neglected my house, daughter, sick cat and myself in the crazyness of this experience. I am going on a very needed church retreat this weekend and will come back revived and refreshed. Ahhh.

See you next week. :)

Sarah's giveaway

2011-01-09T11:18:00.004-07:00

Sarah is having a giveaway, check out her blog. Seeing how she has decorated her house makes me want to start all over again even though we've been here 10 years and the house is pretty much done, except one room (a room I hope to start decorating ANY TIME NOW... COME ON ALREADY!).

Sarah's giveaway

I want to win the butterfly punch so I can make the awesome framed butterfly craft she made and put it in Josina's room. It is so awesome! See it here posted in her top 10 projects of 2010:

Top 10

Merry Christmas

2010-12-12T23:26:00.006-07:00

Ok my adoption peeps, I just want to say how much I love and appreciate your friendship and support during this crazy process. I really enjoy chatting with you on the yahoo board, blogs and facebook. I can't imagine surviving this journey without you.

I am going a little crazy waiting for the phone to ring when I have no idea if it is even justified.
#36 accepted their referral (yay!) and there are only a handful 'ahead' of us on the referral tracker (remember we are #43). Who knows if we are matched yet and waiting on paperwork or is there a referral sitting on someone's desk waiting for a social worker to make the call???

I am hopeful that our referral could happen before Christmas but I accept the fact that it could be in the new year. I am okay with that. Whatever happens, happens. BUT what a wonderful Xmas present that would BE!

Anyways, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. I know that some of you are finding the holidays difficult without a/your child...I know what that is like. Before we were blessed with Josina, we had many years where we just didn't bother decorating because it was just too difficult. Where ever you are in your journey I wish you love, health and happiness for the year to come. May 2011 be the best year yet. Let those phones ring off the hook with referrals, court dates be successful on the first date and visas be issued in record time!

Tammy

Butterflies & 10 pounds.

2010-12-07T15:35:00.004-07:00

Ok, it has obviously been a long time since I last posted anything b/c I couldn't even remember where to go to post. Sheesh!

I have butterflies in my tummy! We're #43 on IA's 'list' and there are only 3 or 4 families ahead of us with requests for 'either' gender, mainly 'up to 18 months'. We are the only one 'up to 1 year'. Then there are 3 or so families that have not added their info to the list so I'm not sure what they've requested or if they've received a referral. BUT we are matched or close to being matched I think. Insert big grin here!

That being said I really need to get healthy and start feeling strong so I can keep up with 2 toddlers (Josina will be 2 in February - crazy!). I have the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred dvd and never use it. I also pay for a gym membership each month and never go. I want/need to lose 10 pounds as my clothes don't fit me properly and I feel terrible about how I look. Anyone out there who wants to join me in my crusade to lose some weight and feel better about themselves? I need some support and someone to motivate me. This adoption wait has added to my weight. ;)

Forever Friends

2010-10-13T10:53:00.006-06:00

We spent Thanksgiving weekend in B.C. with my family (Shuswap/Okanagan). Although we were very busy, I did have the opportunity to finally meet a very special friend I have made a connection with in the online adoption world - Natalie! (She and her mom drove almost 2 hours to meet up for a quick coffee - Thanks for doing that, Nat!)

Natalie and I have chatted online for a few years now, since the beginning of our international adoption journeys (I cannot believe I just wrote 'years'. Ugh) - on the yahoo group, through our blogs, email and facebook. This is also a year or so before Josina came into my life. When I first saw pictures of Natalie I felt an overwhelming sense of emotion. In my heart I was feeling the same thing I saw in Natalie's eyes. Utter Sadness. I boldly told her this in an email and we've been each other's sounding board and cheering section ever since.

When Nat and I gave each other a hug (she gives the best, squishy hugs, lol) she said something along the lines of it feeling like we already know each other, yet we're just meeting. That is so true! This process forces us to bare our souls and we need to hang on to each other to survive. It seemed so surreal to finally be with Natalie in person. She is such a sweet, kind, gentle soul! I know that after Natalie and I are both home with our children that we will continue to be forever friends.

Through this adoption journey I've met so many wonderful people online who I consider my friends. I hope I can also meet you one day.

2 Years

2010-08-18T19:29:00.003-06:00

DTE August 18, 2008. Need I say more? Blah.

(I'm overtired right now, lol, which is causing the blase attitude...went to see Buble last night, so fun! BUT I'm not meant to stay up late and get home after midnight and not go to bed until 1:30. My girl doesn't understand that mommy needs to sleep in sometimes, lol. Up early. SO tired.)

Dare to Dream?

2010-07-22T08:56:00.002-06:00

Well, it is 9 am and I'm already exhausted, lol. I didn't have a good sleep last night and Josina woke up way too early for my liking (with the 3rd blowout of the week which means changing sheets, bathing her, etc.). I'm sitting on the couch with zero motivation to empty the dishwasher, dust, switch over the laundry, clean the counters of the breakfast mess, to clean the raspberry jam off Josina's highchair tray or to even shower and get dressed. It'll all be there in a few hours when I feel up to it. I should be at the gym right now as the zumba class starts in 15 mins. Oh well, lol. Next time. I'll take Josina for a walk instead.

As I mentioned in my last post I have been feeling quite good over the past 2 weeks, even last week when I had a house full of company for the week. But what made me feel absolutely spectacular was the news of Laura, Chad and Sarah's referral!

When I heard from Laura about her sweet little boy I was so excited and had to leave the kitchen and take the laptop up to my bedroom so I didn't cry in front of my husband's family.
This has been THE referral I have been anticipating (besides my own) and hopeful for for a very long time. Seeing this happen has helped me become excited again about our own referral. I have begun dreaming again about him/her. Will it be a boy or a girl? How old will he/she be? What will he/she look like?

I've even started watching adoption videos on youtube, sobbing like a baby, wanting to feel the same joy the couples are experiencing in the clips.

Do I dare to dream of my child? I am starting to feel better but still have bad days and I wonder...should I continue to protect myself and not get too excited? It is so hard to know what will happen in the near future. Will there be delays again or are things going to start happening without a hitch (ha, ya right...I forgot this is international adoption we're talking about).

When I do dream and start to get excited I also become a nervous wreck...I can't imagine how families, such as L & C, have kept it together during an extensive wait for 'the call' when you are possibly the next family on the list.

Originally we were #43. I have to say that I do not like that our last name starts with a 'V', lol. #40, 41, 42 and 43 are files that were sent in the same batch by the gov. of Alberta to Ethiopia and they all have the same DTE. But we're #43 b/c they are listed in alphabetical order. Oh how I wish for a last name that starts with 'A' (not that it makes THAT much of a difference, lol). We are now #21 and one family ahead of us has adopted a child from South Africa recently so they are on hold until next year (this is a friend of mine and wasn't announced on the board)....soooooo that puts us at 20. We have requested a boy or a girl, under the age of one. ALL of the families ahead of us are requesting close to the same age range.

*Of these families ahead of us there are 8 not listed on the database so I don't know what gender/age they are requesting.
*5 of the families are requesting a girl.
*7 are for sure requesting either gender. But there are a possible 15 families requesting either gender (including the 8 families not listed on the database).

So we're close, but not that close yet. Do I dare to dream again?

What is there to say?

2010-07-08T12:12:00.006-06:00

I haven't posted since April. Wow. A huge reflection on the fact that not much has happened on the adoption front lately. I just have nothing to say, really. Our file has been in Ethiopia for 22 months now and we're in the process of updating all of the paperwork (fun). I wish I could say to all the people we are having to pay (again) to update our paperwork to just charge it to one blonde thief who stole all our money (not that I'm still bitter or anything).

I have wavered over the past few months about our adoption. It is hard to be excited when nothing is happening (even with the referral this week...I'm still guarded). I've even questioned whether it is best to go back on the list for another domestic adoption (which we decided is not for us right now). Like I've said before I really want to move on with life and have my family complete. I'm really done with all of this. Once we have a referral I know I'll be excited and joyful again.

On another note, Josina is already 16 months old! She's such a joy and I am amazed at how she changes on a daily basis! She is signing to communicate but seems to be a late-talker. This doesn't worry be right now b/c there is a family history of late-talkers (at 2 years).

I hope that you are all doing well. I still read the blogs on a daily basis but just haven't been motivated to write. Ttfn.

P.S. Here are some recent pics of Josina. If we are friends on facebook you've already seen them.

20 Months!

2010-04-18T13:30:00.003-06:00

Wow! Who would have thought when our file reached Ethiopia 20 months ago today that we'd be at this point (isn't this the gestation period of an elephant). I'm not sure how I feel about it some days. Some days I get myself worked up about the wait and then other days I tell myself to slow down and enjoy the time I have with my daughter. I'm a planner, I need to know what is going to happen and how it is going to go down. I don't like surprises really (well some surprises of course). I am just anxious to know if it is a boy or girl so I can start nesting, planning and redoing/redecorating bedrooms. I love this kind of thing. I also am just looking so forward to having my family complete and being able to move on...not having to think about paperwork, wait times, changes in the process, bankruptcy stress, etc. I just want to be. To be with my husband and children. My family completed.

We are number #24 on the single list (we were originally #43 so I am really happy about this). I think and have always thought it will be a boy. Maybe in a few more months we'll know for sure. So excited about this!

Anyways, just wanted to write a quick post. J has been sick for 6 days and I'm really tired. Here's to a great start to a new week and bring on the referrals! J & L your turn is coming, I can feel it!

Here we go again!

2010-02-09T19:40:00.004-07:00

Our dossier reached Ethiopia on August 18, 2008. However, we INITIALLY sent our file to the province for approval in March of that same year. After waiting weeks and weeks for approval we received our approval letter and I noticed a mistake had been made. It said that we were approved to adopt a female infant or siblings from Ethiopia when in fact we had not specified gender. Thankfully I noticed the error but we had to go through our local agency to get the mistake taken care of at the provincial level. This of course took more weeks and weeks to fix. Finally we received our letter of approval, our dossier was ready to go and I spent a weekend in August tracking it across the world until it arrived and was signed for in Addis.

When Imagine give each family a number in last month based on when their file was received Ethiopia we were # 43 on the single child list and #16 on the sibling list. After the recent referrals I THINK we are about #34 or 35 on the single child list and #14 or 15 on the sibling list (not following it too closely but I know my blogger peeps will figure it out for me, lol). Because we may or may not receive a referral before our documents expire in August we will probably have to update our dossier documents (notarized documents, etc)...I'm just waiting to see what happens. Supposedly we won't have to update them IF we have a successful court date before then (or just a court date, I'm not sure which it is).

Because referrals are happening sooner than expected and in good numbers I am getting concerned about making sure our paperwork is in order in time to receive our referral.

Because we adopted Josina last year we obviously need to have a homestudy update done for our file with a new letter of provincial approval. This isn't surprising and makes good sense. After the bankruptcy in July I waited to see what was going to happen with our Ethiopian adoption before paying $ to have an update done. I called our local agency in November and they suggested I wait a few more months because it wasn't pertinent then as we didn't know then that the referrals were going to start happening so soon. I called them again today and have told me that our provincial documents (criminal record checks and medicals) have expired in the amount of time that we waited since I first called and we need these for our updated provincial approval. We JUST got the criminal record check done in the summer for the court papers for our domestic adoption and this annoys me to no end. This means more time and $$$ that we just don't have (on top of paying for the homestudy update). Quite annoying really! They told me that criminal record checks now need to be updated every 6 months. Beside the fact that criminal record checks cost $ it also involves loading my daughter up in the car, driving to downtown, paying heavily for parking and braving the cold.
If I had continued with the update when I wanted to I wouldn't have had to worry about it. Grrr.

Aside: at least our provincial intervention check doesn't have to be updated. We had that updated in the summer for the court documents for our domestic adoption. That took 3 months!!! YEP....one piece of paper with one signature took 3 months! It kept getting 'lost' and we kept having to get another from the agency. Here's the process for an intervention check.
1. Call the local agency for the form.
2. Agency sends the form in the mail.
3. Fill out the form and have someone WITNESS your signature. Grrr.
4. Send the form to the LOCAL AGENCY.
5. The local agency sends the form to the provincial government.
6. Provincial government approves the form and sends it to you in the mail.
7. You send the approved form to the local agency.

This summer we filled out 3 forms! It kept getting 'lost'. After waiting a month and we hadn't received the form I called our local agency and it 'was lost'. So we'd get another form, fill it out, get it witnessed, etc., etc. and again and again it 'was lost'. I have no idea where. The local agency or the government. But it took 3 months! Thank goodness that form hasn't expired and we can use it for our Ethiopia adoption. Sheesh!

Back to the homestudy update: So we've booked an appointment with our social worker for next week to do the update and we'll get the criminal record checks and medicals done hopefully soon. What concerns me is how long it will take to get provincial approval again. How many months this time? I don't feel like I have too many months to waste before we expect a referral(which I guess is a good thing, lol). What did ease my mind a bit is that the government said that if Imagine is awaiting approval in order to give us our referral that I can contact them and they will confirm our approval to Imagine. So that's good.

Dont'cha just love paperwork! But I'm still thrilled that I GET to update paperwork...It means we can adopt from Ethiopia! It still seems so surreal after the heartbreak in July of learning of the bankruptcy.

Oh hey! I should mention...Josina's adoption was finalized on January 6th! It's official! She's legally ours! Yay!

Going Private

2010-01-09T17:03:00.002-07:00

So I decided I will definitely take the blog private now that I know how to do it. But we are travelling to a warm and sunny destination and can't think about it right now with packing and what-not. Will go private in 2 weeks. That way anyone who hasn't given me their email still has time.

If you feel comfortable posting your email here I will delete it when I get home (won't have access to the internet and can't delete it right away like I have been doing). If not, I'll post a reminder when I get back and you can also give me your email then. Then I'll write down your email and delete the post right away.

Cheers!

P.S. I can't believe I'll not have access to email and internet when 'the list' is distributed by Imagine. Ack! I have to wait 5 days till we get home to know what number we are!

Private?

2010-01-06T19:08:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking about taking the blog private but don't know how to do it or how it works. If you have any feedback I'd really appreciate it. I THINK I just have to go under settings, permissions, then choose "only people I choose". ??? Is this right?

Also if you want to still follow the blog when it goes private send me your email and I'll send an invite.

Bad Blogger

2009-11-01T19:38:00.006-07:00

So I am such a bad blogger! I seriously don't have the time or the mental clarity right now to put my thoughts down on 'paper'. Josina is almost 8 1/2 months old already! For the past 2 1/2 months she has not been sleeping AT ALL, thanks to teething and easing onto solid foods. I cannot survive on 2 - 3 hours of sleep each night, thus blogging, etc. has been neglected. But the past 3 nights she has actually slept pretty much the full night so I am feeling like I am coming out of the hazy fog that is my world.

Josina is such a joy! I am still in awe that I am a mother and that she is my daugher. She has been crawling for about 2 - 2 1/2 months and at 6 months started pulling herself up on her knees and then to standing. She could do without sitting up, that is so last year! Never does she sit on the floor and play with her toys. She always, always, always has to stand...against the coffee table, sofa, bookshelf, fireplace, bar stool, high chair, stair gate, jumperoo, alligator piano, toybox...need I say more? I am a very busy mom with a very active little girl! I am astounded that she can stand against her toybox (vinyl storage ottoman) and hook her elbow against it for support and play with her toys. She has recently started playing at the coffee table and moving back and forth to the sofa and then back to the coffee table. I don't think it will be long and she'll start making the motions to walk.

Well, that's about it for now. Hope you all had a happy halloween. Josina dressed up as a ladybug...so cute. We went to story time at the library and to her friend's house for a halloween party. I only took her out to our neighbour and good friends' house for trick-or-treating just to share the cuteness that is her. By the time I got home it was close to meltdown time so we didn't go anywhere else. TTFN.

Wordless Wednesday (a day early)

2009-09-29T18:43:00.000-06:00

What? How Did We Get Here?

2009-09-18T16:21:00.005-06:00

Ok, they told me that time flies when you are a parent, but seriously? How did we get here so quickly? She is turning 7 months old on the 21st. Check out this picture. One minute she's shuffling/crawling around on the floor and the next minute...

she's pulled herself up on her knees using the end table... ALL BY HERSELF! Just astounding!

4 Months!

2009-06-21T09:30:00.003-06:00

Where has the time gone. As each day passes Josina changes more and more. Her personality is definitely starting to emerge. Oh boy, are we in for it! I think she is going to have a very strong sense of self and won't be afraid to tell you what she thinks! lol! She is already giving me attitude. When I stand her on my lap and she isn't happy about something she'll stiffen straight up, yell at me and put her arms straight out behind her with this look of digust on her face. IT IS HILARIOUS! Hee hee hee.

*She can reach for a toy intentionally and put it in her mouth. Watching her do this with her Sophie giraffe is hilarious b/c she misses and pokes herself or she'll have Sophie's entire butt in her mouth.
*When I sit her up she becomes totally enthralled with her feet. She stares at them in amazement and bends all the way down to the floor to look at them. But the funny thing is that she can't get back up again. LOL!
*She is sleeping through the night. She will fall asleep between 8 and 9 pm after her bottle. BUT she is waking up way to early for my liking. Anytime between 5 and 6:30 am. Ugh! I'm not even functioning until after 8 am.
*She now naps in the afternoon anywhere from 1 to 3 hours (come on 3 hours!) after I rock her for 10 minutes or so.
*She power naps for half an hour in the am.
*She LOVES her Jumperoo! Yay for the Jumperoo! She loves to bounce and jump...it's hilarious when she rocks side to side like a Sumo Wrestler.
*She's getting stronger on her tummy. Phew! Now I won't look like a bad mother at Gymboree class. (BTW, the other day at class a 6 month boy was holding her hand, ha ha ha! It was so cute!)
*She has 2 friends from her Mommy & Baby class that live close by. In fact one friend actually lives on our street, only 8 doors down! How's that for coincidence!
*She still hates the Tim Horton's drive-thru. Sigh! Get used to it honey!
*She plays with her Sophie giraffe and soft, plush lion in the car when we are driving somewhere. It is so adorable to look back at her in the mirror and see her happily munching away on her toys with a sweet smile on her face.
*Once in a while she'll have an hour or so of constant drooling, chewing, munching, sucking with red cheeks. So some teething is happening but not all the time.
*Her world has opened up past the 10 inches from her face. She looks around the room for her mommy and daddy. She tracks the cats as they walk by her. It is so amazing to see this change!
*Outside is one of her favourite places to be. She loves to look around at everything, especially the leaves on the trees. When going for walks with the stroller she'll happily look around and give me a big smile. So cute.
*I bought her some babybanz sunglasses. They look adorable on her. She doesn't like them yet. But I will win...yep, I will win this battle, lol! I think she'll get used to them if we keep trying them on.
*2 weeks ago she started rolling on her right side. That was so incredible to watch! And to think, it will just keep getting better! More and more changes every day!

I love you my little honey bear. Mommy loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-17T10:08:00.003-06:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-09T21:17:00.008-06:00

Bittersweet

2009-05-27T07:29:00.004-06:00

Monday, February 23rd...the day we were taking Josina home to Calgary. When Sid and I woke up that morning we were both a bundle of nerves and in very sombre moods. How else can you feel when you are going to watch a family say 'goodbye' to their little girl. We weren't meeting at the hospital until noon so we had a long morning ahead of us. After eating breakfast in the hotel I knew that I needed to write Marcia a letter so I was prepared with something meaningful to say at the ceremony at the hospital. Otherwise I'd just stumble and say something stupid as I am not good with speaking of the top of my head. What do you write to someone who is going to allow you the privledge of raising her baby? The words came somewhat easy and yet difficult at the same time because it had to be just right. After a few drafts I felt I said what I needed to say. It was time to go and I was still writing more as an afterthought as we walked out of the hotel room door.

In the car on the way to the hospital our social worker phoned to see how we were doing. I broke down sobbing in tears...I think it was obvious how we were doing. We'd been crying on and off all morning. You have to understand...Josina's birth family are very good people and this was extremely painful for them. This was going to be the hardest day of our lives. Yes we were going to become parents, but as adoptive parents you have to go through this part to get to the good stuff. I prayed to God that morning that he would make me feel the pain and suffering that the family was going through. It was the least I could do.

At the hospital our social worker had not yet arrived so we waited at the Tim Hortons for her. When she arrived she told us to wait here for her until she calls. She went up to the hospital room for what seemed like an eternity. Sitting at the table, all I could think of, with butterflies in my stomach, was that it wasn't going to happen. We were waiting so long because the adoption wasn't going to go through. In fact the opposite was happening...they were taking the time to say goodbye to Josina, to grieve this loss.

Then my cell phone rang and it was time to go up. That was the longest and most nerve-wracking walk I've ever taken. As we entered the maternity ward our steps became smaller and smaller, we walked slower and slower. Closer and closer we walked to the door to the hospital room...at one point my husband stopped in the hall, his feet would not carry him any further. We were sobbing and in tears before even entering the room. As I entered, sobbing, I saw Marcia sitting on the hospital bed with Josina in her arms...2 braids in her hair, looking radiant and yet so sad. She was looking down at Josina (which she did for the entire ceremony). Her mom, dad, sister, and brothers were sitting around her on the bed and in chairs. I skooched over to a corner, standing in front of the family with tears streaming down my face. We were all bawling. Our social worker said a prayer, read some scripture and then I had the opportunity to read my letter to Marcia. Again, she looked at Josina the entire time, never taking her eyes off her. Everyone had the opportunity to say a few words if they felt like it. I can't even begin to tell you how important that was to us. Marcia, such an amazing young woman, told us she couldn't believe our profile had never been chosen (it had been shown numerous times, just never chosen) but that she is glad that we were never chosen because that meant she got to choose us. We are the perfect family for her baby. This amazes me to this day!

After hugging each other, Sid and I left the room to let the family say their last goodbyes. We waited down the hall in a lounge until our social worker came and said it was time. As we walked back into the room where Josina was waiting for us we noticed that her hospital basinette had been decorated with gifts for Josina, so nicely displayed. Ok...this still gets me to this day. Her family says good bye to her...they are letting us raise her...the most precious gift I will ever receive...and in the midst of their greatest pain they take the time to decorate her basinette and shower her with gifts...I told you they are an amazing family! They love her so much!

So now the tears need to be put away, we have a big responsibility now. We are parents! It was time to be happy. We took this picture to celebrate our new daughter:

The weather outside was cold and snowy and we were anxious to get home soon as we had a 3 hour drive to make. Unfortunately we had to wait for the doctor to complete the final medical on Josina before releasing her. Well, it took 3 hours for the doctor to show up...not fun. While waiting, a nurse spent some time with us to educate us on bathing, etc. (thankfully we had taken an infant care class 2 nights before Josina was born, lol). Finally she was given a clean bill of health and it was time to go. After putting her in the car seat and getting the nurse to check that we had Josina strapped in properly (we didn't) we started walking down the hallway with our daughter...the same hallway that hours before we couldn't even walk down. As we walked further and further towards the exit I kept looking back to see if someone was going to stop us. They're actually letting us leave with her? I told Sid to walk faster before someone stops us. It reminded me of the Ikea commercial...you know..."start the car...start the car".

The drive home was fairly uneventful, long, but uneventful. After such an emotional weekend it was so good to be home. Our good friends and neighbours came over to ooh and awe over our gorgeous little baby. They brought an "its a girl" balloon and some gerbera daisies (my fave) and took some pics of us with her...I think she's going to have a problem with her eyesight with so many flashes going off in her eyes at such a young age, lol.

We didn't get much sleep that night (or for the next zillion nights, lol, for that matter) but were so proud to be her parents (still are).

The next few days after this are a blur. All I can remember is that Sid and I both cried and were so sad for Josina's birth mom and her family. We cried at the drop of a hat so many times.

We had 10 days to wait to see if Josina would remain with us or if Marcia would decide to parent. The 10 days passed successfully and that's when I first posted about her arrival (see posting entitled "Surprise"). Now 3 months later you can see that Josie is growing like a weed and very happy with us. We feel so blessed to be her adoptive parents because we were made to wait so long to become parents and we never take her for granted. She is such a precious gift. I love her more than I can put into words.

3 Months!

2009-05-19T08:49:00.011-06:00

Josie is 3 months old already!

*She smiles in response to something you say or do. While smiling she turns her head coyly toward her shoulder as if to say 'I'm the cutest little girl in the world'.

*She loves it when you talk with her. She loves to talk and loves it when you copy what she just said.

*She started sucking her thumb on the long weekend. For a long time now she's been sucking her fist, but she finally found her thumb.

*She also started blowing bubbles over the long weekend. Too cute!

*She doesn't like pacifiers. She only takes a soother when Mommy is rocking her to sleep.

*She says 'la' when she's tired and needs to cuddle with Mommy to help her fall asleep.

*She tracks you or other objects in the room.

*She looks for Mommy and Daddy when she hears our voices.

*She is holding up her head, neck and shoulders if still a bit wobbly now and then.

*She eats about 5 to 6 ounces of formula about every 3 hours as compared to 1 ounce when we first brought her home.

*She can sleep anywhere from 6 to 8 hours at night uninterrupted...although I could do without the 5 am wake up call for a feeding then only going back to sleep for another hour.

*She isn't strong on her tummy yet, that head's pretty heavy, lol. She gets frustrated quickly on her tummy, but we're trying to do it more often so she gains more strength. I always forget to do it.

*She loves her crib mobile...I can turn it on for her and have a shower, get dressed and do my hair while she plays.

*She is starting to wear 3 to 6 month clothing, depending on the brand. She has a very long torso so any 2 piece outfits fit well in the pants but the diaper shirts can be a little short.

*She loves her bouncy chair which is nice because now Daddy and Mommy can actually eat dinner together.

* She doesn't cry very much, only if she's tired or is telling us she wants to move on to the next activity, thank you very much.

*She needs to be moving all the time...She is a little wiggle worm.

*She's ok with the car seat as long as the car is moving (I'm becoming talented at slowing down when approaching red lights and timing it so that I don't have to stop and once the light turns green can continue to go, lol...others behind me may not appreciate it but so what!). This means that she hates Tim Horton's drive thru...not good, not good! Never once have I gone through the drive thru without her crying her lungs out...always have to pull over and give her a bottle to calm her down.

Happy 3 months little girl! Mommy loves you!

Letting me actually sit down while in the baby bjorn...doesn't happen often, lol.

Lounging in the hot Okanagan heat.

Big smiles...what a cutie!

The Next Day

2009-04-30T18:29:00.003-06:00

When we got back to the hotel after meeting our daughter I could not sleep, not a bit...all I wanted to do was hold her and snuggle with her. We woke up early and were at the hospital around 8:30 am...Marcia was so tired so we told her to go to sleep and we would look after Josina. She did and we spent a few quiet hours together holding her, taking photos and a short video (I'll post it one day). Josina's birth family (Oma, Opa, Aunt and 2 Uncles) arrived and of course it was time to let them hold her and cuddle her. They just love and adore her so much there are no words to describe it. The rest of the day was spent in the hospital room visiting, talking and best of all staring at and doting over Josina.

By mid-afternoon I was done, I was so tired and overstimulated by all the activity and people. Sid and I went back to the hotel and tried to nap. With no success we cleaned up and went out for dinner before going back to the hospital for a quick visit. We would be taking Josina home the next day and it was important for the family to have alone time with her to say goodbye. Although we loved her at first sight, she wasn't really 'ours' yet and we needed to be sensitive and keep our distance. Our time would come...it was their time to be together.

Although it was exciting to be becoming parents FINALLY...it was also so bittersweet...we felt like vultures at times...seeing a family saying goodbye to their sweet little girl...well, there are no words to describe the emotions. We knew the next day was going to be so difficult. After arriving back at the hotel we were drained and exhausted...we went to bed early and managed to get some sleep...we were going to need our strength for what was to come.

When My Daughter was Born...

2009-04-29T15:18:00.004-06:00

So I'm trying to find time to blog about our daughter and have found motherhood to be so amazing and extremely busy, making it nearly impossible to write. My Josie doesn't nap much during the day either so...(actually the second I started typing this post she woke up...will have to come back to it...)

Ok, it is now later this evening and Josie is in her basinette, not asleep yet, just gurgling and wiggling as she does best. I'm going to try to write some more. Ha ha...as soon as I start typing she has started crying for food...will have to hen-peck while feeding her...Josie was born on Saturday, February 21st. The week preceding her birth was very stressful and exciting at the same time. Her birthmom's (Marcia) water broke a week before (while we were in San Francisco! Ack!) and had to go in every day to the hospital for a non-stress test. She was to be induced 3 days before Josie was born, packed up and drove an hour to the hospital to find they didn't have room for her...please go home and wait. Well, finally it was decided that she would be induced on the Monday instead. So Sid and I thought we`d have the weekend to do some last minute preparations and tie up some loose ends with my job. On Saturday Sid and I spent the day running errands (buying a sling, dresser from Ikea, etc.) Early evening came and Sid went to get groceries while I drove down south with my neighbour, who has a minivan, to pick up an upholstered glider and ottoman that I found on kijiji...On the way my cell phone rang (it was about 6:10pm) and it was Marcia. This is what she said:

Marcia: Congratulations, M0mmy
Me: *stunned and confused silence* -uh...what
Marcia: Congratulations, Mommy
Me: what are you talking about...that`s not funny (or something like that...it is all such a blur)
Marcia: You`re a mommy...you have a daughter
Me: WHAT...WHAT...(insert shrieks...ask questions about what happened, start sobbing)

My neighbour who was driving called his wife to tell her the good news and to listen to my shrieks and sobs.

Marcia explained that she started having pains and contractions at one in the morning and Josina was born at 5:08 pm. When could we be there (3 hours away!). I couldn`t have been further away from home...I was at the opposite end of the city...picked up the chair and hightailed it home...we had to drive 3 hours to meet our daughter. Got home, hugged my husband, hugged my friend, then scrambled to pack...on the way out of town picked up dinner to go and flowers for Marcia. On the road we phoned everyone we could get ahold of...arrived in MH at the hospital just after 11 pm and saw our daughter for the first time by about 11:15. The moment we walked into the room time stood still, she was so beautiful! I was so overcome with emotion I could barely stand. Marcia was holding her on the bed and her mom and dad were there with her. After a few minutes I had composed myself and sat down in a chair to hold my little girl in my arms..only 6 hours old. She was perfect!

We stayed at the hospital until around 2 am...Marcia had fallen asleep and I didn`t want to leave her alone all night...I felt like I should stay to help her during the night...but Sid convinced me that the nurses were here for that reason, that we should go to the hotel and try to sleep. We left the hospital and went to the hotel, but we didn`t get any sleep, that`s for sure! More to come...

Cutie Pie! 9 weeks old.

2009-04-27T18:15:00.005-06:00

One day when things slow down a bit (ha ha) I'll catch up on blogging...until then Josie turned 9 weeks on Saturday...these are 2 pics my friend posted on facebook of Josie at her baby shower.

2 Months!

2009-04-21T14:31:00.013-06:00

Don't have time to blog much but Josina is 2 months old today! She weighs 10 pounds 14 ounces and is 22.5 inches in height. About the 50th percentile so all is good. She's already in her 3 month outfits. Life is crazy busy but so awesome! Love it, love it, love it! Here are some pics...I hate our camera it takes bad pics but here are the best of them.

Getting a pic of a full smile is challenging...she's constantly moving, lol. Need a faster camera.

Giggles!

Tickles from Oma

It snowed on the day this pic was taken...mommy declared it officially 'pyjama day' and we stayed on the couch in our jammies and cuddled all day.

She wore herself out after playing on her playmat. Fast asleep.

One Month Rambings

2009-03-21T21:14:00.005-06:00

Thank you every one for your wonderful comments and well wishes. I understand how hard it can be to read about someone else's joy when you may be in a deep dark pit of sadness. I know what it is like to long for a child, I longed for one for 6 years. I had given up all hope and a miracle happened in my life. I will understand if you may not be able to read my posts once in a while and that's ok. I really do understand. When you can, I would love it if you would come by my blog for a visit.

Josina is one month old already! What? How did this happen? I really can't believe it! Words cannot express the joy and love I feel for her or how our life has changed dramatically in such an amazing way. Although crazy and exhausting, life has become much more simpler. Our focus has changed. Our purpose is different. It is incredible.

Watching her grow in the past 4 weeks has been so fulfilling. At first she was very content and after she would feed she'd fall back asleep instantly...a very content baby. Then when she was 2 weeks old she all of a sudden started becoming very demanding while eating. If I interrupted her feed to burp her she'd scream out as if saying "NOW! FEED ME NOW!", it was so funny to see this change in her! She is still doing it, even stronger in fact, lol!

Now she is becoming more and more alert and focuses on things around her. She loves to dance and sing with us and Beyonce's "Single Ladies" is one of her favourites, lol. Ok, it is one of my favourites but she likes it too, lol.

In the past few days she has changed again...she used to fall asleep easily...now it takes much longer for her to fall asleep and really loves to fall asleep in our arms...the second we put her in the basinette she wakes up and screams to be picked up again. Hmmm...they say that a baby should not be left to cry at this age, but is this the start of a bad habit? Will there be ramifications later? I can't leave her to cry though, it breaks my heart. Tonight she fell asleep as we sang to "Old MacDonald's farm" and "Six White Boomers".

She is growing so fast. Thursday last week her newborn swaddler diapers fit her fine and the very next day they were too small and she developed this adorable little pot belly!

She used to cry on the change table when getting her diaper changed, now she is starting to focus on the toys and to coo and gurgle instead.

Her eyes are becoming clear and are not as blurred as they were (I don't know what the technical term for this). She has the most beautiful eyes.

She is a very gassy baby, although I'm sure they all are. It is funny to praise her and comment on the force and loudness of her 'ahem' gas passing...lol. Or to say 'good one!' when she burps really loudly.

I could watch her all day long. Even at 4 in the morning when I am feeding her I am excited to be with her, to hold her, to bond with her.

I wonder what amazing changes the next month will bring. I've read that babies begin to smile in their second month. Oh, I hope so! I can't wait for this!

Tips for you:

*get your sleep now! Trust me on this one!

*although you want to shop in order to fill the void (trust me, I know), try not to...you get ALOT of really wonderful presents! There are so many people waiting to celebrate with you!

* You will lose your mind and memory right away...sleep deprivation at its best...you will forget what you were doing, move on to something else and forget that too.

Here is a pic of Josina with her eyes open at 3 weeks old (we don't have many with her eyes open, lol...she sleeps alot and I get distracted when she's alert...want to play with her and forget to take pics)

Surprise!

2009-03-06T10:33:00.006-07:00

I'm back! Bet you've been wondering where I've been and what the heck I've been up to...thank you to my blogger friends who expressed their concern. I have a wonderful surprise for you! God has worked a miracle in my life over the past month and it has to do with this precious bundle of joy:

I am so proud to announce that she is my daughter! Yep, my DAUGHTER!!!! Can you believe it? She is such a blessing, a true miracle! I know your chin has hit the floor, I still find it very surreal myself. Isn't she gorgeous?!

Here is how it all unfolded. Do you notice the date of my last post was the early morning of January 15th? I couldn't sleep that night I was so stressed out about life. Later that evening (9:00pm) my husband and I received a phone call from our social worker from our local agency (We have been on the domestic adopotion list in Alberta for over 2 years) saying our profile/scrapbook had been chosen!!! Can we meet the family next week? What? Excuse me? We had all but given up on this! My husband and I didn't sleep for the entire week! We met our birthmom and her family and had a wonderful afternoon with them. The next day we were asked personally by our birthmom to parent her child, who is due on March 5th (today actually). She is an amazing woman who I will love and cherish for the rest of my life! We are blessed that she and her family will be a part of our lives, it is like they've adopted us!

A few weeks passed and we stayed in contact with the family via phone and email and had coffee, lunch and dinner together as well. I was overwhelmed with work, planning & preparing our house, etc. that I just couldn't blog about anything! My husband and I decided we needed to rearrange our trip to San Francisco (originally planned for March 21st) and while we were there (over Valentines weekend) her water broke!! While we were out of the country!!! Talk about panic!!! Our daughter wasn't born for another week...February 21st and we brought her home on the 23rd. Our ten-day revocation period passed successfully this Wednesday and I am so thrilled to be able to introduce little Josina to you.

Josina Maaike Marie

Born: February 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Weight: 7 pounds 1 ounce

Height: 19.2 inches

I am excited to continue to follow your journeys to parenthood, it is nothing like I'd ever even imagined. Even the 4 am feedings are enjoyable when you gaze into your child's eyes.

I will eventually get around to taking the blog private, when I have a minute to figure it out. But for now you get a sneak preview of our precious joy. Thanks for sharing this journey with me!

Not-So-Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-15T00:16:00.010-07:00

Ok, so it isn't really Wednesday anymore, it is 12:16 Thursday morning and yet again I can't sleep (I think this is the 6th night in a row). Here are some of my favourite pics from my niece's wedding. Her Grandma took the photos - they're really good.

Fun in Florida! Day 7 (our last full day-blah!)

2009-01-14T23:54:00.004-07:00

Of course our last day consisted of - what else? - the beach! The weather had cooled considerably but it was the last day and we HAD to spend it at the beach. Back to Clearwater Beach we went. It wasn't as busy as previous days, but still active and fun to people watch while lounging in our chairs. Didn't go into the water, it was just too cold.

Really all we did this day besides walk along the beach and on the pier was sit in our chairs and soak in the sun when it wasn't behind cloud. Not alot to report...a seagull attacked Sid and stole his sandwich right out of his hand...but it was still a fun day indeed.

Fun in Florida - Day 5 & 6

2009-01-14T18:22:00.011-07:00

Sorry, I've been overwhelmed lately with work and personal stuff... also went to B.C. to my niece's wedding over the weekend...will post more on that later.

Back to Florida.

Day 5 was definitely my least favourite day of the trip and I don' really have any pics to share so you'll have to put up with my ranting. We got up early (I'm not a morning person) and drove from Clearwater to Crystal River (hour and a half drive). We were going on a snorkeling tour to swim with manatees.

Manatees swim into Crystal River when the weather is colder in the gulf to feed. Well it was unseasonably warm so there were limited manatees on this day. Blah! The tour guide would drive the boat up and out of the inlets looking for signs of manatees...there weren't very many and if there was a pod to be found they were tucked up into the manatee sanctuaries (boundaries set up by U.S. Department of Fish & Wildlife - or something along that line)...when you would find one or two manatees ALL of the other boats/tours on the river would head in that direction...like 300 people trying to swim in the water to look at one manatee in cloudy water. Not impressed at all! I was really disgusted by this! No wonder they need sanctuaries. I was really shocked that the number of tours isn't limited in this area.

My husband did have an encounter with one manatee, he managed to see its body and tail as it swam by...didn't see the face but it did touch Sid as it swam by. I was totally pissed off by this point b/c we were the only boat around this manatee and the young kids that were on our tour kept pushing past me to get to the manatee. Rude little buggers! No concept of personal space and keeping your distance. I totally missed it. I left the water b/c you couldn't see anything anyway and I had had enough. What a waste of a day and money!

We drove back to Clearwater and the only saving grace to this day was that we were going to shop at Target...Target!!! I LOVE TARGET! When we arrived at Target I looked in the trunk for my purse and realized I had left it that morning in the restaurant back in Crystal River. The nausea subsided only after we phoned the restaurant and were assured that someone turned it in and all the money and credit cards were still in my wallet. How incredible is that? I was so worried about getting my purse back that while in Target I really couldn't focus and it wasn't as fun as I had hoped.

We decided we'd drive back later in the evening b/c there was no point at that time due to rush hour traffic. We ate another awesome meal at my aunt's and then headed all the way back up to Crystal River to get my purse. I couldn't think straight the entire evening until I finally had my purse back in my hands with all its contents in place. Phew! What a relief! I was so happy to get to bed that night.

Day 6 Kennedy Space Center

We drove about 2 1/2 - 3 hours east to Cape Canaveral to visit the Kennedy Space Center. The best part of the day were the alligators you would see in the ditches on the side of the road. Wild alligators! They were incredible! At the end of the day I noticed that there was a ditch full of water in front of our car in the parking lot. I thought 'hmm' maybe there's an alligator in there and lo and behold there was!!!!! It was watching us, all you could see was the top of its head and its eyes poking out of the water staring at you...we were about 6 cars away from the car and we started running across the side of the ditch towards the car and Sid took some video but most of it is just of the ground while he's running to get into the car. Hilarious! If I can how I will try to post the video (we got a new digital video camera for Xmas and we don't really know how to work it yet - these things take time, lol!).

Here are the pics at Kennedy Space Center. Because I really don't remember anything about the day I'll just use this opportunity to post "Wordless Wednesday"...don't want you to get the same glazed over look I did that day...just joking...sort of. LOL!

Oh- one more thing...we were told that the next launch is February 12th and the shuttle is docked on the launch pad about 30 days before the launch...this means we missed it by about 2 weeks. Shoot!

Fun In Florida- Day 4

2009-01-07T20:22:00.007-07:00

Yep! The beach again. After 2 days on the beach we wore my aunt out and she stayed home. We went to a touristy beach this time full of activity, Clearwater Beach. We basically played in the water, soaked in the rays and had a nice picnic lunch. The water was a little cool, but warmer than the first 2 days. Wearing my rashguard I was able to swim in the water. Once you're in you're numb anyways, so....lol.

Sid walking on the pier:

View of Clearwater Beach from the pier:

Pelican on the pier. He's smart. He waits for the fisherpeople to catch fish and feed him instead of getting his own food:

After spending the entire day at the beach we drove an hour to an outlet mall. We didn't have much time there b/c my aunt was expecting us for dinner, we didn't have our cell charged and couldn't call her to say we'd be later than expected. So we hurried back and had another awesome dinner on the deck.

Fun In Florida- Day 3

2009-01-07T15:43:00.014-07:00

Day 3

What else? THE BEACH! My aunt took us to Honeymoon Island where we took a ferry to another island called Caledesi Island, rated the number 1 beach in North America. Absolutely beautiful.

With my aunt, waiting for the ferry:

Check out all our gear. We packed a lunch and brought our snorkel sets:

On the ferry:

The view from the ferry. This is the beach we were at the day before:

The beach:

The water was way too cold and I went in once but my husband had a blast snorkeling. We spent some time walking along the beach together (the sand is like talcum powder) and searching for interesting shells. My favourite shell that I collected was a sea urchin. There were tons of them. I found a couple of sand dollars too.

Pelicans in the water:

Sid playing in the water:

After a fun day in the sun we went home, showered and went to Olive Garden for dinner. Mmmm! Another great day.

Fun In Florida- Day 1 & 2

2009-01-07T15:18:00.007-07:00

Happy New Year all,

I've been overwhelmed and sick since returning from our trip.

As many adoptive parents have experienced this week, I had a total meltdown yesterday afternoon. On Monday we were sent an email from our agency regarding the new policies and court procedures set in place by the Ethiopian government. This is going to make the wait for a referral longer and also lengthen the amount of time it will take to have a successful court. I was so sick on Monday that I couldn't even process or comprehend this information and Tuesday afternoon I came back to reality and simply bawled until I couldn't breath anymore...then I cried some more. This sucks. I have also been told that the wait for a referral is now 8 to 10 months instead of 6 to 8 months. I do not see how we will get through court before the closures in August or how we will be bringing our baby home this year. Happy Frickin' New Year. Yet again another disappointment to get over, I have to re-adjust my thinking and toughen myself up for an even longer wait. 2010 it is. How are we supposed to get through this...how am I supposed to continue my regular life and pretend to be happy when really I'm not, I'm miserable. It is a good thing I don't really want to be around people b/c they really wouldn't want to be around me.

I am going to B.C. for the weekend to attend my niece's wedding and have to clean my entire house to allow my husband's family to use our house for the weekend (and we're not even going to be home). I need to take a break and share about our time in Florida.

AHHHH, Florida. I didn't think about adoption for days. I left my life and had a wonderful time.

We left on Christmas Day (airmiles doesn't have much more available at that time of year) and thankfully our flight left close to on time...I think in all it was about a half hour late. It was announced that they were asking us to wait 20 minutes for another flight attendent to show up or else they were going to cut 16 people from the flight. We had no problem waiting, lol.

We arrived in Orlando and then drove to Tampa/Clearwater in our rental car without any trouble, except it rained (actually poured) for about an hour. We were quite worried about this, but that was the only precipitation for our entire visit. The temperatures were actually unseasonally warm for the week we were there.

When we arrived at my aunt's house we celebrated Christmas by opening gifts just before midnight (got it in in the nick of time, lol). My aunt gave me a digital photo frame (for pics of baby, of course) and gave my husband a book on Africa.

The next morning we set off for the beach. We ended up at the causeway where the locals go. It is not a touristy beach full of crowds. The water was quite cold and we waded often, but mostly we sat in the beach chairs, chatting and soaking up the sun. I spotted 3 dolphins making their way through the causeway to the open water so Sid and I ran down the beach after them. So beautiful!

This beach also had fun shells and tons of pelicans to watch as they bomb the water, diving for fish. I love watching those pelicans! I think I could watch them all day. What a great way to spend Boxing Day!

We had a traditional Christmas dinner that night (Boxing Day) and the coolest thing was we ate dinner outside on the deck. It was so warm with a light breeze.

Truly a relaxing and fun day. It was so great to not think about work or adoption for once.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T08:09:00.005-07:00

I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Sid and I are greeting at the Christmas Eve service at church tonight and then we're flying on Christmas Day (gotta love availability with Air Miles) to visit my aunt in Florida. We haven't seen each other in over 10 years so I'm looking forward to catching up with her. I'm amazed that she has been down there for 17 years now and I've never once gone to visit her. Huh? Why you ask? I have absolutely no idea! It boggles my mind. I hope that we can make it a semi-regular occurance to visit her when we have a child. I have visions of playing in the sand and wading in the ocean with my little one. Such fun!

2009 will bring a lot of joy to many families and make a lot of dreams come true. I am looking forward to entering into the year I become a mom. It has been a long journey to get to this point and it is definitely overdue to be my turn.

Have a fun and wonderful Christmas. For all you awaiting court dates I will be thinking about you often and praying for good news when I return. Emily, Jenny, Leah and Dianne...you are in my prayers all the time.

Merry Christmas!

The extent of decorating this year

2008-12-16T21:53:00.008-07:00

I love the Christmas holidays and try to find the joy in the real reason for celebrating. Last year was a very difficult Christmas because we were shown for the first time for a potential domestic adoption and I got too excited too soon. I've learned after being shown about 6 times that you can't get attached and don't get your hopes up (ya right). Just a couple of days before Christmas (last year) after an entire week of waiting for the phone to ring (will it be a 'yes' or a 'no') we were told it was a 'no'. We hadn't slept or eaten in a week and it was such a devastating thing to hear. I didn't decorate last year, I was so devastated. We didn't put up the tree, no garland on the fireplace, no garland/lights outside on the porch. Nothing. We were in such a funk (which lasted most of the past year, actually, due to adoption related stress).

This Christmas I am a little more upbeat because I know that God will give me an incredible gift next year but for right now I really am not in the mood to decorate. I really do love it, but I'm just not in to it this year, maybe because we don't have family in the city and we're going to be out of the country over the holidays. I've done a little bit of decorating and that is it for this year. Now...next year will be a completely different story but this year I am going to visit my aunt in Florida and just simply relax and forget about the world for a week. Then I will come home to 2009, the year I become a mom. How amazing is that?

So for this year I share what minimal decorating I've done and wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Kisses in the Wind

2008-12-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- Unknown ---

OH- To Be A Cat In Our House!

2008-12-04T12:14:00.004-07:00

I was just making lunch and walked in to the living room...had to share this:

His life sure has changed! He used to be a stray rural cat who lived in -40 degree weather OUTSIDE all winter. He now lives in the suburbs of the big city! It is -25 degrees with the windchill and he's inside stretched out on the couch with the fireplace on. Ahhhh, this is the life!

Daydreaming

2008-12-04T10:17:00.002-07:00

The adoption blogger friends I have will probably have seen this poem so I am posting it more for family and friends. I 'borrowed' this poem from a fellow adoption blogger and started crying when I read it. Although we are nowhere near receiving a referral it describes where I am. I daydream about our child all the time.

Daydreaming

I stepped into her room today
Knowing she’s not there
This waiting for referral
Is more than one can bear

But taking in the moment
I sit down on the floor
And dream of her here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub her feet
I place my hand upon her heart
To feel its every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Her eyes begin to close
She’s meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I’ve dreamed of her quite often
Throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be “The Call”.

By Tom Fisher

Merry Christmas to YOU!

2008-12-03T20:51:00.004-07:00

So most of the people who read my blog are part of the yahoo forum and you will already know this news...after a few weeks of referral drought there were two more referrals announced today. One for a 7 month baby boy (after just over 7 months of waiting for a referral-YES!) and one for twin 3 1/2 year olds, a boy and a girl, (after 1 year of waiting for a referral). Congratulations C/D & M/D...I am praying that the rest of the process goes quickly and smoothly for you. What an amazing Christmas present!

Keep the good news coming!

Our First Homemade Ethiopian Dinner!

2008-11-30T13:11:00.007-07:00

We made Ethiopian at home last night for the very first time. I'm pleased to say it was delicious! We made Doro Tibs, Mesir Wat, Shiro Wat and Alecha Wat. All of my favourites!

Our friends volunteered to be our guinea pigs and they enjoyed it also!

It is very easy to make, but it takes a lot of chopping and preparation. It is also better if you let it simmer for a long time. Worth it in the end! The only negative about making it at home is that the house REEKS of berbere, garlic and onions. We entered the house this afternoon after church and the scent was overwhelming, lol!

We have tons of left overs (we made enough to feed 20, I think) if anyone wants to come over! :)

Does This Work?

2008-11-21T13:58:00.002-07:00

I bought some white dishes to use for special occasions...then of course I needed red chargers for the plates for Xmas...but then I need napkin rings, napkins and placemats!!! Do these combinations work?

I have AOCD

2008-11-18T14:37:00.003-07:00

Yep, that's right...I have AOCD...Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I realized this when reading the symptoms for AOCD (listed below). I have 6 out of 7 symptoms...the only symptom that is not currently presenting itself is #7 (demanding reassurance from my agency). I think that symptom will present itself closer to month 8 when I am close to a referral. My answers are in CAPITALS.

If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions you may need to be treated for Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (AOCD). You should immediately consult with family, friends, and especially fellow adoption bloggers.

 Repeated actions over and over - Do you ritually check adoption blogs and forums MANY times a day; especially at the most unusual/inappropriate times like during work or before your coat and shoes are off when you get home from being out for any amount of time? YES!

 Involuntarily persistent thoughts - Do you wake up every morning and go to bed each night (and most hours in between) thinking about adoption? Or do you find yourself trying to steer conversations onto the topic of adoption because it is the only topic you can seem to concentrate on for any period of time? YES and YES!

 Arranging and having things orderly - Do you keep a tracker and/or spreadsheet tracking wait times and referrals (if you use a color coding system, add two points to your score)? Or do you check other peoples trackers and/or databases to count where you are "in line"? NO and DEFINITELY YES!

 Aggressive or horrific thoughts - When people say "Hang in there!" and you smile and say "thanks", would you rather hang them? Or when people say "Good things come to those who wait", do you wonder if they have ever had to wait for something this important (we are talking about a baby, not dessert)? Or after someone says "Everything happens for a reason", would you like to smack them and say "I'll show you my reason!" YES, YES and YES!

 Uncontrolled emotions - When you see beautiful black babies at the grocery store do you become overwhelmed with emotion? Do you get disappointed when someone doesn't comment on your blog, even when you know lots of people are reading it? Do you scream into your pillow for, what seems like, no particular reason? OH YES! YES! YES!

 Repeated doubts - Do you wonder if your adoption will ever happen? Do you wonder if your file got lost/misplaced somehow, so technically, you are not on the "waiting list"? Do you ever think that they might forget you are waiting and skip your referral? ALL THE TIME. YEP. YEP.

 Demanding reassurance - Do you depend on regular updates and correspondence from your agency for your sanity? And if you don't hear from your agency, do you email and/or call them to subtly remind them that you are still waiting? NOT YET. NOT YET...GIVE IT TIME.

Think we can get this listed as an actual disorder? Treatments prescribed by doctor are trips to warm, tropical beaches. What d'ya think? ;)

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-11-12T13:24:00.002-07:00

Ok, so this week has surely had its ups...many online friends received word that their court dates were successful. This means their child is now legally theirs and they will travel to Ethiopia within months to pick them up. I have been so excited and ecstatic about this. These are families were referred their child around the beginning of August and then were caught in court closures, adding 2-3 months to the process.

I am very sad to say this week has also had its downs. There are 4 families that I am aware of that did not have a successful court date due to a variety of reasons. This means their court date is rescheduled for January, adding more time to this crazy process. That just simply sucks! I am crying for them because I know how their hearts ache to know the face they've been staring at for months is legally theirs. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for them. I'm so angry that these delays are happening to them just because some paperwork was forgotten by a certain party.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(insert bad language here)

To my friends who are weeping today...I am weeping with you. I'm so sorry. There isn't anything I could say to help you and to make it better. Keep strong.

(insert more bad language here)

The Hardest Thing Ever

2008-11-10T09:02:00.002-07:00

Sunday night I was unloading the car after being away for the weekend. The door bell rang and I thought it was my neighbour returning our key b/c she fed our cats for us. It wasn't, it was another neighbour with his daughter from across the street a few houses up the road. I was really curious as to why they were on our doorstep, they've never been too friendly before.

He asked if we owned a black cat with white paws. I own a black and white cat but not by that description and besides my cat was definitely in the backyard, I was just there with him when unloading the car. My neighbour said a cat just layed down in his backyard and was now deceased...could I come over and look.

I was nervous that it was my good friend's cat (same description) who was out of town. I have a key to their house so I went and checked. Both cats were in the house...phew!

I went across the street and into his backyard to see. It was really dark and I couldn't quite recognize the cat. I went to another neighbour's house and he graciously came out with gloves so we could take the collar and tags off to see who the cat belongs to (I just couldn't do it!). It turns out I did know the cat. His name is Zeus and he lives at the bottom of our street and we'd always talk with him and pet him when my husband and I would go for a walk. Very friendly and chatty. Crap...this means I had to tell the owner.

Here's the worst part...the neighbour who's yard this cat is in called Animal Control earlier (before coming to my house) to see if they could come deal with this cat. He was nervous and not being a cat owner didn't quite know what to do. You know what Animal Control said? They said the cat is on private property, just put it in a bag and leave it in the alley with the garbage. Excuse me? This is not just a cat, it is someone's life, someone's baby....you can't just leave it in the alley with the garbage! Outrageous and disgusting!

I knew that we couldn't leave the cat in the alley, the owner deserved to know...no matter how hard it is, I would want to know. Thankfully the cat did have tags, we knew Zeus...it was up to my husband and I to do it. We walked down and we were both so nervous ringing the doorbell...my knees were knocking. We told her (we'd never met previously) and... well....you can just imagine. The owner had just lost her other cat 2 months ago. I was crying with her.

We walked her back up the street, put Zeus in a box then walked her home. I felt so bad b/c she didn't have anyone at home that night...she was by herself. It was all I could think about last night and while trying to sleep.

I've been EXTRA cuddly with my babies...they don't quite know what to make of it. Arthur is on my lap while I sit at the breakfast bar eating oatmeal and writing this post, purring away. I can't imagine life without him.

Pets are our friends, our family, our confidantes, and sometimes the only 'person' who gives you unconditional love. They are not to be left in the alley.

Supportive Information

2008-11-06T16:50:00.003-07:00

I found this post on a fellow adoptive parent's blog and have permission to post it here.

Supporting an Adoption

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.

DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption

DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.

DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.

For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.

Thank you 'LittleOne' for allowing me to post this. I would link your blog with your blog name, but I don't know how yet...I will when I figure it out. :)

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

2008-11-05T18:17:00.010-07:00

As a couple who has no children, we enjoy a peaceful and quiet household. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want (although we would gladly welcome the interruption of a child!). Right now, our attention can be focused on each other.

But our household is also home to 2 very loving and fun cats. While wrapping presents today (yes, I'm already wrapping Xmas presents-what else do I have to do?) I realized our cat Arthur has decided he needs ALL my attention...he's getting me ready for parenthood!

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

Things to Look Forward to in November

2008-11-03T22:13:00.008-07:00

I've been dreaming about our baby and trying to stay positive. I can feel the sadness closing in on me again...had a week's reprieve and I'm trying to claw my way out of the pit of despair. I know I am allowed to be sad once in a while, this is a very trying process. But I've been sad for far too long and need to keep positive. What will November bring that will help with the wait? (work is NOT included!)

*Xmas shopping

*visit with my in-laws

*visit with P & G and our godchildren?

*My BF is coming to visit! (haven't seen her in over 2 years!)

*off to Banff with J!

*Spa with J! (mani & pedi?)

*Ethiopian with S, J, J & I?

*Ethiopian dinner out with fellow adoptive families

*2 'small group' get togethers

*adoptive couples support group meeting

*Stampin'Up Party at B's

*Make Xmas cards

*Games night?

*Coffee with K

*Secret Pal surprise! (I added this a day after the above list...my secret pal has been stalking my blog anonymously and reminded me this should be on this list) (hee hee hee)

Hmmm...looks like a jam packed month. Good! Before I know it another month will have gone by. Oh ya...forgot 2 more things...LOTS of cuddles with my cats!

Stupid Things People Say

2008-10-31T16:30:00.006-06:00

When you haven't been through an experience that someone else has gone through or is going through you can't say to them that you really understand. The same thing goes for infertility or the process of adoption. If you haven't experienced it like I have, you truly can't understand what it has been like.

I've been thinking about a few things that have been said to me in the past 6 years where I just have either looked stunned or just had to inwardly shake my head in attempt to avoid exploding.
1. "Once you adopt you'll get pregnant."
*Yep-we've all heard that one before. You know what? Some people just can't get pregnant! It isn't possible and will never happen. Give it up already. I have!
*When you are adopting it doesn't matter if you can or cannot get pregnant at that point. Having an adopted child is the same thing as having a bio child!!! Treat it as such!

2. "You just haven't prayed hard enough."
*Yep, someone actually said that to me. It deserves no comment.

3. "How can someone just give their baby away?"
*Placing a child for adoption has involved months of thought, heartache and tears. A mother doesn't just willy nilly place her child for adoption. She makes the biggest sacrifice for her child so her child can have a better life. She isn't 'giving' it away. I have a tremendous amount of respect for birth moms...I love my birth mom already. I think about her ALL the time and I don't even know her.

This is one added by a fellow blogger and one I've heard MANY times over:
4. "You are lucky, at least you won't have to deal with getting pregnant and being fat."
*Yes, I am lucky! Being an adoptive parent is a true blessing and gift from God! (My response)
*But I am getting fat! I'm gaining weight being depressed because I have no control over when I will have a baby. (My response)

Another from a fellow blogger:
5. 'Oh, you're adopting just like Madonna and Angelina Jolie.'
*Yep, just like Madonna and Angelina Jolie. Only they don't have to remortgage their house just to finance the adoption. (My response: ok, I'm exaggerating...just a home equity loan...)

There have been other comments made that I just can't remember at the moment. I'm sure you have others. Please let me know and I'll add them to the list. It is important that we help others understand what type of comments help and which do not. Saying something 'thoughtful' versus the first thing that comes into your head.

In a Good Place Right Now

2008-10-26T21:26:00.002-06:00

So this trying to have a family for the past 6 years thing has obviously been an up and down roller coaster (mainly down), but I'm feeling up right now. Let me share why. About a week or so ago I was venting to my good friend on facebook about all the people I know right now who are pregnant. Of course I am excited and overjoyed for them but what you need to know is that the hardest thing to deal with is that many have met their husbands, gotten married and are now pregnant in less time (by years!) than we've been trying to start our family. Some are on baby #2 or #3. That's a hard pill to swallow. It gets harder and harder to paste the smile on your face and pretend you aren't hurting or feeling sorry for yourself inside.

But my friend's response was this: Your time will come and it will be great. All those people you have supported will come together and celebrate you in your journey as a family.

This has had a great impact on me the past week. She let me bitch and was there for me, continuing to be a tremendous support in this incredible experience and let me know that it will happen and she, along with everyone else who loves us, will also be there right along with us.

For anyone who doesn't know what it is like to experience infertility or the waiting pains of adoption it is hard because there is no belly showing off to the world that you are going to be a mom, there are no ooohs and aaaahs or shrieks of congratulations.

From the time a woman finds out she is pregnant she can pretty much guarantee that in less than 9 months there is a prize at the end of the labour (all going well, of course). She knows when she will hold her baby. With international adoption, not so much..it isn't as straight forward as that. A woman who decides she will become a mom by adopting internationally has already grieved the dream of being pregnant, suffered through infertility treatments (most likely) and is aching to be a mom and feels there is no end in sight.

When you decide to adopt internationally it can take almost a year to get a homestudy done and a dossier compiled, completed and to arrive in the country of adoption. Then she has to wait months and months for a referral, MONTHS to see the very first picture of her baby (similar to an ultrasound per se?). MONTHS! Some women have had to wait 15 months! Then before she can hold her baby in her arms (instead of the dolls she buys for her baby) she has to wait months longer and watch her baby reach milestones in photographs, in a country on the other side of the world. She thinks the end will never come. She crys and crys until she thinks she cannot cry any more. She shops and shops to fulfill the void because she just doesn't know when she can hold her baby.

I have grieved the loss of the dream of being pregnant (2 years ago, in fact). I have the blessing of becoming an adoptive mom, I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world! My friend's response helped me realize that the jubilation, the congratulations, the celebrations WILL happen. Over the past 6 years it seemed like it was never going to happen, I've been very depressed about it for the past 6 months. But now I am at the top of the roller coaster (for now). My friends and family WILL celebrate with us...we are not alone in this wait...they are waiting just as anxiously as we are. That the day we receive the call, they will also cry tears of joy (probably not the UGLY CRY that I will cry, but tears all the same).

Thank you to my friend for supporting me, letting me bitch when I need to and helping me though this. You know who you are.

To everyone else who is riding this crazy ride with us...thank you. Start buying bottles of champagne....we're gonna have one heck of a party! The day is coming!

My Prayer

2008-10-20T20:34:00.004-06:00

While praying in church yesterday it came to me...my baby is alive right now! Either in utero or just a little baby!

I pray for this little baby and for its birth mother...for the trials and tribulations they are experiencing or will experience...for the difficult decision she will make for her child to have a life with us. My greatest joy in life will be her greatest loss and sacrifice.

I pray that God watches over them, keeps them safe and in good health. I love this child and its mother already, someone I don't know and haven't met...my heart aches for them. Please watch over them Lord.

Welcome to the World Alexander!

2008-10-20T20:26:00.003-06:00

It's a boy!!! (No, not my boy, but I probably shocked you there for second)....my good friend Carol phone this evening to announce she had a baby boy yesterday...Alexander Michael...7 pounds, 14 ounces, born a week early. Because Carol's first son was born a week late this was a total shock when she phoned to say Alex was here! Congratulations Carol, Andrew and big brother Charlie!!!

Carol- Congratulations on a dream come true. I can't wait to meet your little guy. Here's the coolest thing...our kids will be soooooo close in age!!! Wish we lived closer...I would be over right away. Love you guys!

Thanks Secret Pal!

2008-10-19T19:54:00.008-06:00

I have a secret pal! I belong to an online group of Canadian adoptive parents who have adopted or are in the process of adopting. We just started a new secret pal exchange that lasts until March. So what happens is that you are matched up with another adoptive parent and you become their secret pal. Once a month you send your person a special something according to the theme for that month. October (the first month) was "Something special for mom...isn't waiting fun?".

My secret pal is FAST! We were just assigned our pals on Monday...and the package arrived Friday!!!!! Sid checked the mail today when he went to rent a movie...I was so surprised and excited to receive my package. Here is what my secret pal sent me:

My first Parents magazine!!! (this means alot b/c it validates the whole process...that I am 'expecting'...I'm just waiting for my baby!)
Body Shop Cranberry Body Lotion, Soap and Shower Gel! This is my favourite scent from the Body Shop! And a Loofah Sponge...I needed a new one!
MMMM....Purdy's Chocolate (smiley faces...to brighten my day! ...matches the smiley faces on the card)

MMMMM! Chocolate!!

I'm going to draw a hot bath, relax, chill out and read my magazine...enjoy the solitude while I still can! (I already ate one of the chocolate smiley faces!)

Thank you Secret Pal!

Tidbits

2008-10-16T19:14:00.000-06:00

So my plans for the evening were cancelled which I am very disappointed about...I was looking forward to this evening all week. I wasn't sure what to do with myself tonight so of course I peeked in the nursery and decided to take a few more pics...I am sharing this on my blog b/c I have zero family in Calgary and have friends and family spread all across the country...this is my way of 'being pregnant' and allowing others to share in my joy...some may not be interested and that's ok. Not a problem. But for those interested...

Off topic: This is a pic of my living room (not related to adoption at all). I just put up the words above the window last weekend...it says Live Well Laugh Often Love Much. I think it looks really good. My former colleague's husband made it for me. See my cute little kitty (Arthur) sitting on the ottoman.

This is the highchair my future child will throw food from and make a mess of my currently clean and tidy house...can't wait! Spaghetti on the walls, peas on the floor...ahhhhh bliss! My friend Kathleen passed this on to us...what a generous person! I am so grateful for good friends!

I'm not sure if I've posted this previously...this is a cute growth chart that you hang on the wall. You can also put in pics of the child. Too cute! I actually bought this in Target in Salt Lake City. Was interesting trying to get it home on the plane!

2 toys...not sure what to call them...generously given to us from Heather (she also gave us her crib).

Edmonton Oilers set of dishes and cutlery given to us from Arlene. So adorable! My husband is an Oilers fan...he just loves this.

Our stroller...just love it! Kathleen also kindly passed this on to us. It was stored in the nursery and I'm proud to say I figured out how to unfold it to take this picture...I'm embarassed to say I can't get it to fold back down! LOL! Help!

Looking at the items I've shown I'm relieved to see that they were all graciously given to us...makes me feel better to know I didn't buy them during one of my baby shopping sprees...that the reason I can't close the closet door in the nursery isn't all my doing! HA!

Food for Thought

2008-10-13T15:17:00.000-06:00

I read the following on a fellow adoptive-mom-to-be's blog. Just thought this would be good for everyone to read!

Ways to support an adoptive family.

1. If you're asked to write a reference letter for the Home Study or grant, do it promptly. It will mean a lot to the family to know their adoption is a high priority for you too.

2. Especially if the wait drags on a long time, don't constantly ask if they've heard any news. Some moms adore giving you the blow by blow during the wait. But many moms find the wait difficult, and get tired of saying, "No, we still don't know when he/she is coming home." Ask instead how the nursery is coming along, or invite her out to lunch.

3. Throw them a baby shower and/or bring baby gifts before the child comes home. Honor the adoptive mom with your faith that this will happen for her. But it is a good idea to ask the mom-to-be if she would like the shower before or after the child is home.

4. Do treat them like parents-to-be. If you would give a pregnant friend or family member something for Mother's Day (or Father's Day) then do the same for the adoptive couple. Or even Christmas. A special Waiting ornament.

5. Tell them you are praying for them. If there is a delay find out what it is so you can pray specifically and ask (once in awhile) if there is any new news. (paperwork delay, accreditation)

6. I liked it when people said things like "Getting excited?". It acknowledged we were "expecting" in a positive way. Another good thing to say was "Do you need anything" or "can I do anything for you"?

7. Keep your judgements to yourself. And don't question their decisions.

8. Do share any positive stories you know about adoption and suppress the desire to tell every adoption horror story you've ever heard.

9. The other thing that makes me feel like an "expectant" mom, is people asking what I need. "I have an exersaucer/stroller/high chair you can have?", etc.

10. Do give empathy: I got a hug and the simple words "this waiting must be so hard." from someone I hardly knew. It meant the world to me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-10-12T19:42:00.001-06:00

Sid is going to start developing the basement next weekend so that we have more living space for a child to play in. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

We had a very nice Thanksgiving with my brother and dad (I had to tear apart the nursery and move everything to one side to make room for my dad to sleep...sometimes being too organized is not a good thing!). Sid and I made our 4th turkey ever and it turned out to be delicious...I even stuffed the turkey myself...my mom will be proud! :) I kept thinking that maybe for next year's Thanksgiving we'll have a little one to run after! Can't wait!

What are you thankful for? I am thankful for my family, friends and wonderful husband. I'm thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to become a mother through adoption. Here's to a great year ahead full of joy for all the adoptive parents-to-be out there! I hope your wait is short and blessings are many. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Mmmmm...mmm...good Part 2

2008-10-11T10:50:00.001-06:00

So Sid, Jason, Ida and myself FINALLY went out for Ethiopian...(Lisa, Dave and Jay-we missed you...maybe next time?)....We went to Fassil, which is an Ethiopian restaurant here in the city. It is a small, quaint place with no fancy decor...you're definitely there for the food!

Sid was quite amazed by the price of beer $3.00...when he commented on this the waitress joked that she could charge him $15.00 per bottle. :)

The food was excellent and it is nice for us to be able to look at the menu and know what we are ordering now that we have a few Ethiopian meals under our belts!

We ordered a number of different dishes (Doro Wat, Gomen, Shiroh, Misir Wat, Alecha (sp?), lamb, ground beef) and shared from the same platter. My favourite always seems to be the Misir Wat and Shiroh. Mmmm!

Diggin' in! So delicious! Great food...great friends...great conversation.

Smile Ida! I'm happy...just took 2 muscle relaxants for my neck...strained it that day and couldn't move my neck.

I would definitely recommend Fassil Restaurant. The price was very reasonable, food was excellent the the staff were nice and very friendly, although not in a hurry to provide quick service. It was an evening to sit back, relax and enjoy the food and friends.

Mmm...mmm...good!

2008-10-06T16:29:00.000-06:00

Sid and I went to an Ethiopian cooking demonstration yesterday and had an absolute blast! The two Ethiopian women teaching the cooking class were so warm and friendly! One gave me her phone number so that I can call her if I need her help with Ethiopian cooking. We were there with about 12 other adoptive couples who have adopted or are adopting from Africa.

Off topic: One couple we met had their dossier sent to Ethiopia at the same time as ours and it arrived on the same day. I wouldn't be surprised if they were sent in the same package. This means we are both on the same timeline and we're hoping we'll be able to travel at the same time!

We learned how to make a number of different Ethiopian dishes: Tibs (Sauteed Beef), Shiroh (Ethiopian Pea Stew), Misir Wet (Red Lentil Stew), Gomen (Spinach) (and another dish with potato and cabbage but I don't know the name of it). I sure wish I brought my camera to share pics with you. The dishes were incredible! If you haven't yet tried Ethiopian, I would suggest it! Scrumptious!

While cooking, the 'instructors' shared with us the the way they would cook the dishes while in Ethiopia vs. Canada. To bring out the flavour of the food it is better to let the food simmer over a long period of time. You can cook it quickly (we are always in a rush!) but for gourmet flavour let it simmer slowly.

The main ingredients for Ethiopian seems to be tons of butter, tons of salt, and onions. Tomato, garlic and ginger are also important along with fresh spices (berbere).

We learned that it is better to buy the injera at a local Ethiopian store instead of trying to make it yourself. It is difficult to get the right consistency and the proper thickness.

Here are some websites that were provided:

http://www.fooddownunder.com/
http://www.yewoinfamilycooking.com/
http://www.ethiopianspices.com/

We were able to take home some Shiroh (for the pea stew) and Bebere (mixture of spices) so that we can try to make these recipes at home! Give us a few trials before we invite you over!

This says it all

2008-09-18T20:28:00.000-06:00

I spend alot of time just browsing adoption blogs to connect with other women who are feeling the same frustrations as I am. I found this poem on one blog that puts what I feel on a daily basis into words (although I don't feel like I am waiting 'alone' as it says in the poem. I have a great husband, friends and family who are all waiting in anticipation)

Song of the Waiting Mother
I'm pregnant, but my tummy isn't growing.
And no one ever calls me "Little Mom."
The public simply isn't overflowing
With questions that I'd handle with aplomb.

There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.
The absence of a due-date is frustrating
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.

When I'm overdue no one will worry.
The phone won't ring and ring as friends check in.
I can't induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.

Adoption is a worrisome endeavor,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be "with child" a year seems like forever.
Dear God, we're ready! Please send us our little one!

Orphanage for HIV/Aids children

2008-09-08T17:19:00.000-06:00

As I have mentioned, I am part of an online group of adoptive parents who are adopting from Ethiopia. One of the members (Sandi) has a sister (Meg) who has just recently opened a new orphanage for AIDS orphans in Ethiopia! Here is a link to the blog for FAYA.

http://fayaorphanage.blogspot.com/

I know many our family and friends may be interested in sponsoring a child in Ethiopia. Here is the perfect place to sponsor a child and we know where the money is going! Please consider helping Sandi and Meg help these children. Children that are HIV positive pretty much have no chance to be adopted or be part of a family. This orphanage, the caregivers and the other children will be their families and they need your help!

Something to Share

2008-09-04T14:03:00.001-06:00

Someone on the yahoo group I belong to shared this and I thought I'd share it with you! *smile*

ADOPTIVE MOTHERS

Being an adoptive mother is not for every woman. She must possess not only the natural mother instinct but an understanding and appreciation of the situation hat brought a child into her arms making her a mother. The adoptive family comes to be by choices made, choices made by the first parents and by the adoptive parents. This bond the adoptive mother has with her child grows over time, like the child did within his first mother’s womb.

Day by day, touch by touch, with each tear, kiss and memory made they become a family. Adoptive mothers have that special knack to let love grow.

Adoptive mothers know that she’s a mender of wounds, not just of the physical skinned knees with a band-aid and a kiss, but of the heart. She gives love, acceptance, and permission to ask and talk about the day he was born and of his first parents.

Adoptive mothers are embracers, not only of the child with many hugs and kisses, but of the child’s heritage and history. She embraces the facts of her child’s past with strength for herself and the child. She’s not only a memory maker planning family vacations, activities, and birthday parties, but also a memory keeper.

She’s a tier of shoelaces and of hearts. She weaves lives together into a tapestry of a new family, with many different brightly colored threads showcasing their individualities and family origins. Together they create one unit attached to each other.

Adoptive mothers are experts at finding lost objects, but understand and validate the profound, deep loss left by adoption. She allows the tears to fall and grief to be felt, allowing the mourning of the mom not there. She is secure in knowing that she’s not a replacement, but a finisher of a race for someone who, for whatever reason, could not run any longer.
This role is not for the weak of spirit, or the easily wounded. Loving a child not born to her but calling him her own, but this is what she does, it is her calling…..She is a mother.

2008-07-27T23:41:00.001-06:00

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